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Check your email and respond within 48 hours to claim your prize, please!

Can I tell you about my day yesterday?

It was not fabulous.

My keys were missing.  I don’t lose stuff.  Not stuff like keys, anyway.  I moved furniture.  I took off cushions.  I climbed under stuff.  I moved the piano.  And the stove.  And the fridge.  I was desperate.

It was getting late and I needed to get to the post office.  I decided to just take the spare van key and go.  At that very moment, Bennett did something evil to the deadbolt.  I’m not sure how or what, but the end result was that we were all locked out of the house.

Did I mention he was wearing Santa pajamas and no shoes?

I braved the post office anyway.  Then I got one of these:

photo (14)

Gotta do something to pass the time, right?

Once BC was off work and we could get back in the house, we decided to tackle the deadbolt sitch.  Have you ever tried to remove a deadbolt with the lock stuck out and the door locked shut?  It ain’t pretty.  I’m going to save you all a few swears and tell you that this little doohickey right here will retract it…if you can move it.  You might have to use a screwdriver and some sailor talk, but you’ll get there eventually.

photo (12)-1

And now my door looks like this, so that’s awesome.  And not at all redneck, right?

photo (13)

Did I mention that all 4 exterior doors have the same keys for both locks?  That means we either deal with multiple keys, or we buy 8 new locks.  Delightful any way you look at it, really.

We then resumed the key hunt.  I opened a drawer I had already gone through twice, including holding it upside down and shaking, and I saw this:

photo (12)

WHAT THE CRAP?

Who’s messing with me???

My money’s on this one:

photo (12)-2

You can’t trust a guy with shatter painted finger nails.

Comments

  1. OH’ MAN- first off HILARIOUS, I mean really its not seeing all that you went through… but what a funny post. I so have a toddler that puts my purse in the fridge and my cell phone in his toy box… MMM HMMM! I so would of gotten a diet coke too, just to take a load off. Thanks for sharing a laugh this morning. winks-jen

  2. That was such GREAT BELLY LAUGH of a post!! Thanks for the entertaining blog this morning. Been there done that ~ and thanks for the tip about the lock too!
    Hope today goes better! <3
    AMY ASRdeZigns

  3. Home depot sells deadbolts you can rekey with your original… It’s really simple and you do it yourself too! Just thought I would share!

  4. Bennett and Q have matching nails. :)

  5. You can take your new deadbolt and a doornob/deadbolt that you want the key to match to a locksmith and they will make it all match!! Totally worth it!!

    May your today be better than yesterday!!

  6. Schlage makes a lock you can buy at Lowes that has a key you get cut to match your original key and it lets you rekey the lock yourself. We just did that with our new sunroom door and it worked like a charm.

  7. This post is too funny! My kids like to hide things in eitherh the lift up seats of their ride on toys or in the laundry hampers. Ugh!

  8. good thing he’s cute!

  9. wow. i dont know you personally and never comment to people i dont know but ha. thank you for this. and if it helps i drink caffeine often and often swear like a sailor when visiting the post office on a normal day. bless your heart and keep up the good work.

  10. I was just explaining Murphy’s Law to my 13 year old the other day! I miss cussing. I have come up with some funky stuff, though…Like, “OW!!! MMmmMMMARTIN SHEEN!!”

  11. Well I think everyone covered the subject that you can have the 1 new lock rekeyed simple.
    Too funny sounds like some of my days. I have one for you. I was ready to leave for work and couldn’t find my keys. Looked everywhere…………. I mean everywhere well maybe not the door. I forgot I had let the dog out when I first woke up and left the keys in the lock. Did I feel stupid? Yep.
    Have an awesome day!

  12. Seriously one of my favorite posts yet! I was really convinced that this type of stuff only happens to me. You’re awesome! I would have totally gone and got a soda too. It makes me feel a big more normal knowing someone out there has days like mine.

  13. Funny, but not so funny! I once found my keys in the dishwasher. That was a fun one, let me tell you. It included a call to the mother-in-law for a ride to work. Oh joy.

  14. Dollar McDonald cokes have the capacity to take the edge off of any bad day. Did you find time to make cookies in the midst of all that? I hope you went the Oreo route….

  15. First of all… HILARIOUS!! I peed my pants reading this… literally!!

    Second of all… thank you for your transparency… life is the shits sometimes and it’s nice to know I’m not the only one!!

  16. BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I LOVE it! Thanks for sharing, it made my day seem a little better!

  17. LOL! How funny, but my little one has done the same thing to me with my keys, phone and money. Crazy.

    Glad you found your key.

    Vanessa

  18. you may be on to something.

  19. I do not envy your day because I have had that day far too many times. But at least its over and they make plenty of diet coke.

  20. ROFL! Well, it’s not really funny cause I know how you feel. I went through something similar last Sunday. My daughter locked our bedroom door and when she came out, shut the door and OOPS! It’s a turn lock and we tried everything to get it open. We finally unscrewed it and still it didn’t open. Then my husband fulfilled his lifelong fantasy and busted in. Course, the completely cracked the door frame and we’re only renting this place so will have to figure out how to fix that before we move out. Fun….fun…..fun…..

  21. Char,
    Do they come funnier than you? I think not!
    SO HILARIOUS!!

  22. Oh Char…..I cannot stop laughing…..That was MY day on Tuesday. I thought the continual madness would NEVER end!!!!
    So glad you found the keys…..I suspect it is a good story how those landed there…….

  23. Oh. My. Gosh. I hate losing keys!!! It happened to me this week! I JUST got a key on Sunday for our church building. Wednesday morning, when I was supposed to USE that key, to open the building for a play date, I couldn’t find it. It wasn’t in the bag I’d put it in. It wasn’t in my purse, or my wallet. It wasn’t anywhere…just…gone. I called hubs to see if he’d seen it, and left a description. It went something like this: “blah blah blah…looks like a white vinyl-wrapped credit card…blah blah bah.” I borrowed a key from a friend who lives nearby, and took off for the church.

    15 minutes later, I get a text from hubs. (This is AFTER I’ve called him three times, and he couldn’t answer.) “You lost a credit card? I’m worried. call me.” Yes, that’s what he said. Turns out HE took my key, used it to get into the building on Sunday (we were there late), and then stuck it in his pants pocket. And never gave it back. Or told me he’d taken it.

    So. There you have it – evil key snatchers DO exist, and they’re usually people that you kiss goodnight on a regular basis!

  24. Man! What a story! To be completely honest, I’m glad it wasn’t me!

  25. That little stinker…Seriously.

  26. That’s was quite the day!!!! I ‘m glad that it all worked out..sort of….now back to fixing the door! <3

  27. Oh, I feel your pain! Our front doorknob was screwed up by a three year old villian. We had to remove it and use the deadbolt as the knob to open and close the front door. The door knov hole wasn’t so noticeable from teh street, but did I mention I teach preschool?!? Yep. Every parent that came to the door looked at it, looked at me, and looked at it again. Welcome to White Trash Preschool where your kids are always safe unless the door knob falls off!

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