Comments on: The Kindness of Strangers

By: Char @ Crap I've Made

Char @ Crap I've Made — Tue, 26 Jun 2012 18:32:18 +0000

@Melissa,
Mostly because I didn’t want to get angry and cry. We’ve run into a whole lot of “your kid isn’t severe enough” (school district, occupational therapy, etc) and I didn’t really feel like having a sobbing melt down in the middle of guest services when I got rejected again. So, I just went with one in the middle of the park instead, I guess.

By: kirsten

kirsten — Tue, 26 Jun 2012 17:02:48 +0000

I read this last week and was dying to reply but waited till i wasn’t on the ipad
I feel for you.
That is precisely why we’ve never gone to disneyland and can’t see going.
We HAVE done seaworld and legoland, but off-season so pretty much no lines (and they’re more chill than disney, i think). I got a disability pass (no documentation needed or anything) at legoland the first time, but the lines were crazy short, we didn’t need to use it. i was still crossing my fingers and making emergency plans as we started the parks – and he did great (again, no lines!) so I was ecstatic. Because that’s not what I was expecting. I was expecting your day.
It’s hard.
And sometimes you do just wish you could do ‘regular’ stuff easily.
Big hugs. I’ve been there.

By: Amanda

Amanda — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 02:46:10 +0000

I have a child with autism and 2 typical children. We live in Orange County and our children asked for Disneyland passes for their birthdays in lieu of other gifts or a party. We have been twice since getting the passes. We chose not to ask for a disability pass, although, I have known others who made use of these. We did not want to have to justify our need for a pass to Disneyland. Of course, we had a pass so we could leave if things got too rough. If you are there for just a day or two, I imagine you wanted to squeeze everything in. My advice would be to make ample use of the Fastpass for those rides that have them. It made our second trip to Disneyland much more fun for all of us. The Fastpass allows you to bypass long lines for the rides and it really did work. You stick your ticket in the machine and it gives you a ticket that you can use to bypass the line an hour or two later. It made Disneyland a lot more fun. I really enjoy your blog and we have had many a day like you described. We just came back from a family reunion of sorts in another state and with all the change and travel, my son was not at his best. I wanted so much for my family (some of whom I have not seen for years) to see my son as the awesome kid that he is but it did not work out that way. Still I am glad that we went and you’ll be glad you went to DL too once you’ve recovered from the trauma.

By: Laura

Laura — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 19:55:49 +0000

Char yes the tears are welled up in my eyes as well!! Thank goodness for those who “get it’ when the rest of the world does not. I am the step mother to a 22 yr old who has special needs and it is difficult. Sometimes life is hard. As you stated you knew he was yours before he was “yours” here on earth what a comfort this can be at times.
When I prepared for a trip to WDW I did a lot of research and did a lot of digging online. There are fantastic sites out there that can help with information on everything from getting a glass of water to participating with the flag ceremony. There are forums with people who post about true life experiences and with resources to how to navigate both parks with special need children and adults. The wealth of information is amazing. One site is http://www.passporter.com. I only put this URL as a resource and in no way am saying you have to use it I just think it might be helpful for your readers. If I am stepping on toes it is not my intention!!
I think you are amazing Char I loved standing in line with you at the Queen Bee Market :-)that last night of SNAP!!! I was so grateful to get to know you a bit better.

By: rebecca.k

rebecca.k — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 04:45:10 +0000

Ok, now I am scared! We are planning our first trip to Disney in September with our kids, one of which has sensory processing disorder. I am hoping and praying for the best (and planning to keep my expectations low!). Thank you for sharing your experience. It is nice to know that others have the same issues with their kids and that someone out there ‘gets it’.

By: Heidi @ Boys, Buttons, and Butterflies

Heidi @ Boys, Buttons, and Butterflies — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 02:04:49 +0000

Gah! Char..you have me CRYING LIKE A BABY!!!!
Wish I could have been there with you….even though Disney is usually wonderful..it was hard for us the last time because we should have been taking our baby daughter and seeing all the princesses. I wanted to stomp and cyr of the unfairness!

Oh….My husband sorta *ahem* gives Mickey the bird when we leave.
LOVE YA!!!!

By: Jess

Jess — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 18:17:20 +0000

I’m curious, too. Great information, gals! Thank you! All of the things I know are from other blogs, I hadn’t thought about it before, but technically I haven’t checked into if any of it is officially from Disney.

By: Athena Nagel

Athena Nagel — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 01:49:31 +0000

So I read your post this morning on the way to my oldest daughter’s high school graduation – already on an emotional edge. Then I read your post and started bawling… I had to put it aside to deal with AFTER the graduation. My daughter that graduated has major mental health issues and I truly worried about this day ever even being a possibility. My younger two both have Aspergers. One high functioning, one low functioning. Oh there are days I could be on the verge of tears all day. This year in particular has been difficult and challenging. Reading all your post responses may actually persuade me to consider Disney some day. It is very difficult when our kids just can’t keep it together, we just don’t know what else to do – and we still need to worry about everything else going on around us. Today alone – my daughter graduated but was on the verge of a stroke as soon as it was over. My husband and I are dragging the younger two with Aspergers around, chasing her because she is having a panic attack and needs to get out of there right now. I had to leave him with two screaming kids while I chased her and made her feel safe again. This went on for about 45 minutes until we all caught up with one another again, moved to the car as quickly as we could and just sat there and regrouped until everyone calmed down. And through the entire ceremony our youngest daughter kept crying (literally) that she was sure our oldest daughter had been kidnapped because she couldn’t see her through the crowds of graduating students (neither could we). In the end, we made it through the day, she has her diploma and no one was kidnapped. Many times I am left to deal with all of this on my own. Fortunately, my husband was with me today and we were able to tag team it. Otherwise I probably would have dropped to my knees and cried too. I am glad you received some assistance. There should be more people like that in the world.

By: Paula

Paula — Tue, 19 Jun 2012 18:11:27 +0000

My daughter, who has never been diagnosed with anything, has on many occasions freaked out in public. She has gotten much better over the years. Even with the small amount of occurances in our family outings I have developed an empathy that I am grateful for. It is such a helpless feeling to not be able to calm your child down quickly, for their sake and yours. I am so glad someone stepped in and offered support to you and your family. We ALL need that at times!

By: april kennedy

april kennedy — Tue, 19 Jun 2012 17:19:04 +0000

Char….use that pass next time. Disneyland is suppose to be the happiest place on earth for EVERYONE in your party! You go through the exit and don’t have to wait in the crowded loud long lines. And when or if people stare just pretend you are Rock Stars with VIP passes. That is what we do.

Also, go get your pass in the Customer Relations section in California Adventure if you are park hopping. No lines. And P.S. I usually am teary just asking for the pass…because of all the emotions involved. Afraid they think I’m lying, sad I have to ask and grateful it is available. I hope the workers know I’m sincere. Because the tears are.

Give it one more chance and your kids will have an awesome ‘this is what we did for summer vacation’ paper to write when they back to school. Love and hugs to you sweet friend.
xoxo, April

By: Kami

Kami — Tue, 19 Jun 2012 17:18:00 +0000

I love this story. What a sweet kind lady. Made me cry. thanks for that. I like crying.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Tue, 19 Jun 2012 15:36:14 +0000

I just checked the official disneyland site and it doesn’t mention it at all. I’ve emailed customer service to get an official answer- everything I have found is from other blogs. No idea if they can’t legally ask for documentation. I would bet not, come to think of it, considering the disabilities act. If I find anything out from Disney officially, I’ll let you know. Char, if you don’t mind my asking, why did you guys decide not to get the pass?

By: Char

Char — Tue, 19 Jun 2012 15:22:52 +0000

I was told they legally can’t ask to see your paperwork. We chose not to pursue the pass after giving it A LOT of thought. Might I pursue it next time? Maybe.

By: becca dulgarian

becca dulgarian — Tue, 19 Jun 2012 14:55:46 +0000

Char, I felt like I was reading a story from the FRIEND! Thanks for sharing! I adore your and your family! Air hugs and high five!

By: Bliss

Bliss — Tue, 19 Jun 2012 14:35:22 +0000

And random kindness makes a random follower randomly cry too.

~Bliss~

By: Melissa

Melissa — Tue, 19 Jun 2012 13:04:40 +0000

You just need to bring a copy of the IEP or other paperwork (diagnosis, note from the dr, etc) and the child into Town Hall on mainstream and ask for a disability pass. Make sure to bring the child and your whole party with you so that they can confirm everything. I’ve never done it, but we are planning on it next spring. It allows you to use the disability access line. Its not always a shorter wait because some of the rides only allow one disability group per turn. It does usually take you out of the ride queue. So one or the other. Expect that some people will give you dirty looks, and have some prepped responses ready. I’ve seen a suggestion to have a bunch of cards to hand out with a brief explanation and ‘please don’t stare or try to interact, that will only aggravate her.’ Good luck!

By: Kim

Kim — Tue, 19 Jun 2012 10:51:55 +0000

Well said! I have a boy with HFA who is now 14 as well! I second that, we’ve been through some tough sad times when he was little, but it does get better. We’ve all gained coping skills, that is, us his family, and he himself. He’s learned ways to comfort himself and also speak up as to what he knows his needs are. We had a very successful trip to Disney last year. We spent a little extra time at the pool each day to balance out the crowds, and luckily all the kids needed a break from the action as well. Hang in there, Char!

By: Christie

Christie — Tue, 19 Jun 2012 04:58:59 +0000

Love this story–not that you cried at Disneyland, but that there are people with similar challenges who can strengthen us at just the right times. Thanks for sharing, Char!

By: Laura/Readerwoman

Laura/Readerwoman — Tue, 19 Jun 2012 04:28:16 +0000

Tears here – but selfish ones of gratefulness that with my own handicaps (deafness, for one) my children did not provide me with these kinds of challenges when they were little. I know that sounds bad – but you are a REMARKABLE woman, and I admire you so much! My grandson, almost 11, has spent a year in therapy, including 5 nights in a psychiatric hospital. The current diagnosis is bi-polarism, but it seems to change weekly. I honor my daughter and her family, as I do yours, for her strength, her courage and and her never-ending love of a child who needs special attention. Blessings!

By: Jess

Jess — Tue, 19 Jun 2012 04:27:45 +0000

Such a good tip! We are going to attempt Disney next year (first ever family vacation, we’ve been saving for years!) with our three kids, youngest is Autistic. I read somewhere else that we should pursue a special pass. Have you done it? Do you know what type of paperwork we would need ahead of time to make it happen and what good it would do us if we have it? Just curious since you mentioned it! Our trip is over a year away and I already have nerves about the unstructured, unpredictable chaos that is going to mess with my sweet girl’s head.