Everyone grieves differently. Everyone copes differently. Everyone moves forward differently.
No one’s right. No one’s wrong.
We’re just different.
My sister used to (? maybe still does?) go sit at our dad’s grave and talk to him and leave him notes. That doesn’t work for me. I remember him in the way the back of Keller’s head looks and when I sometimes call my kids “pup”. Or when I get the giggles about how loudly and joyfully he sang “Far, Far Away on Judea’s Plains” every year at my grandma’s family Christmas party.
Not right and wrong…different.
If you read/follow a lot of blogs, you have probably seen that many are observing a day of silence today, and many more tomorrow. I love what these women are doing. I love to see the blogging community come together for good.
So why was I hesitating?
Silence isn’t right for me.
I don’t consider myself a writer. I don’t know how to move people with my words the way other bloggers can. I’m a mom who studied math and economics in college. I sew stuff and make crafts. Who do I think I am? Why does anyone care what I have to say? Maybe they don’t? Maybe just one person does? And, if that’s the case I believe it’s still worth doing.
From my personal Facebook page this weekend:
Oh Facebook…do you really want to know what’s on my mind?
I’ve spent the better part of 2 days holding back tears and feeling like I want to throw up. You see, I have a child the same age as the children killed in CT. He probably would have been in their class.
I also have a child who fits many of the things people are saying about the killer. "Weird. Socially awkward. Extraordinarily bright. Asperger’s. Subject to outbursts. Didn’t speak much. Didn’t like talking to people. Odd. Nervous and fidgety. Deeply uncomfortable in social situations."
It’s the same child.
I’m sick about what happened to children just like him.
I’m sick about what a grown child "just like him" did. Terrified, really.
So, Facebook, THAT is what’s on my mind.
I sat in church this week and cried when we sang the 3rd and 4th verses of “I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day”.
And in despair I bowed my head:
"There is no peace on earth," I said,
"For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men."
Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
"God is not dead, nor doth he sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
With peace on earth, good will to men."
So now what?
I recalled the words of Gordon B. Hinckley in the April 1999 General Conference for my church. I think they’re applicable whether you’re religious or not.
Let us return to our homes with resolution in our hearts to do a little better than we have done in the past. We can all be a little kinder, a little more generous, a little more thoughtful of one another. We can be a little more tolerant and friendly…It is our obligation to reach out in helpfulness, not only to our own but to all others as well.
Let’s be a little kinder.
Let’s be a little more generous.
Let’s be a little more thoughtful.
Let’s reach out in helpfulness.
Let’s do a little better.
Peace on earth, good will to men.